If you’ve clicked on this post because you aren’t happy with yourself – I am going to help you fix that broken perspective. You need to realize, that you are special – one of a kind – and completely unique. For you to truly be happy on a day-to-day basis- you must first love yourself.
Accept yourself for both your flaws and strengths. Be proud of what you’ve accomplished and forgive yourself for what you haven’t. There’s only one person in this lifetime that can give you lasting happiness – and that is you.
Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle. – Christian D. Larson
Happiness doesn’t come from “things” – cars, homes, cell phones or hot tubs. If it can be bought – it is a cheap, artificial, short-lived form of happiness. For every “thing” you get – the joy won’t last long (ask former lottery winners) and when these “things” mess up it results in unhappiness.
In other-words, money can’t buy everlasting happiness – so if you are broke (like me), you have nothing to worry about. Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener – a positive psychology professor – found that Maasai warriors in Kenya produced much more daily happiness than his clients in the developed world. These warriors knew that happiness didn’t come from an external source – it comes from within.
So start today – learn how to raise your internal happiness and self-worth.
How to Be Happy With Yourself: 4 Things to Start Today
1. Create a “Like” List
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. – Oscar Wilde
On a piece of paper or word document – list as many things you like about yourself as you can think of. It could be that you’re a nerd, your favorite color is blue, or even that you’re tall – “Oh wait, that’s my list!”. It doesn’t matter if it is something other people view as cool – what matters is that you value the listed accomplishment or characteristic. Take this list and put it somewhere you’ll see everyday – try to read it at least once a day and add to it when possible.
Sometimes when the world sends you enough negative messages you start to believe them. This list will keep your internal dialogue positive and fill it with proud messages of your good qualities. If you’re brave, you could even ask others what they like about you and put those comments on your list.
2. Do Things That Make You Happy
You cannot change what you are, only what you do. – Philip Pullman
To be happy with yourself – it is imperative that you treat yourself well. Do things that boost your self-confidence and allow you to have fun. Do you always feel great about yourself after finishing a work-out? Then work-out more! Does completing a crossword puzzle spark a sense of intelligence within you? Then do more crosswords!
Everyday try to do at least one thing that you enjoy. Even if it doesn’t increase your self-esteem, you will still begin appreciating yourself more for taking action and treating yourself to the pleasures of life – fishing, hanging with friends, or playing Frisbee golf – “Sorry, me again!”.
If you’d like to make the things you are currently stuck doing everyday more enjoyable, try some of the tips in my post: How to Have Fun and Be Happy Doing Anything.
3. Open Up to Other People
Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind. – Bernard M. Baruch
What really stinks is when you get into a habit of not being the “real” you out in the “real” world. It seems like everyone is forced to conform to a certain personality type in order to be socially accepted. This cookie cutter image is sometimes necessary in order for you to keep your job and keep getting invitations to public gatherings.
Sometimes people will compliment the less genuine form of you and because it’s not the real you, your ego doesn’t feel any better. However, if you start putting yourself out there and sharing parts of the real you – others are likely to do the same. Next thing you know – you’ll feel good for being truly accepted and you will have developed a close bond with someone new.
If you find that when you try to be yourself it isn’t working with a certain group of people – FORGET them! You have better ways to spend your time than trying to win over a bunch of people who aren’t going to add any value to your life.
Do you feel lost as to where you can find new people to spend time with? Try reading my post: Where To Find Friends.
4. Sit in the Driver’s Seat of Your Life
“If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.” – Frank Zappa
Too often I find that people are riding shot-gun – while they let others carve the path of their life. That is dangerous! You should be worrying about reaching your own expectations not satisfying someone elses. They aren’t in your body – they don’t understand the emotions you feel, what ignites your engine, or makes you smile.
Your actions affect you 100% – but they only affect the lives of those telling you how to live yours, by a sliver. You must start caring more about what you want from life than what others might say about your decisions. Treat yourself with the kindness and compassion that you deserve and make sure the journey you follow – is the one you’ve created.
Need help figuring out what your life is all about? I wrote the following post to help: How to Find Your Meaning and Purpose in Life.
Be yourself – accept yourself – forgive yourself – befriend yourself – love yourself.
If you’d like to learn how to be happy everyday I recommend the following:
Photo by: Mike Baird