Photo credit: Tillti
The secret to happiness is to put the burden of proof on unhappiness. – Robert Brault
Too often, I find myself pondering whether or not I am actually happy. I’ll over-analyze everything – where I live, my relationships, what I do to make a living and so much more. I believe happiness is the most important thing in life, so you can only imagine how stressed I feel when it seems like I am failing at my number one priority.
When things don’t go as I planned (which is detrimental since I’m a big planner) it gets even worse. I think that because my plans didn’t work out – I am doomed. If it is was something I had been working on for a long time things get even worse! I reflect on the past and visualize the many better ways I could have spent that time.
If I asked you right now whether or not you were happy how would you answer?
Yes? – When you say “yes” are you 100% confident?
Happiness is such a complex and abstract internal form of being, that it’s hard to give a solid answer. When I think that I am happy, I normally have a little bit doubt and start to think of reasons I may be unhappy.
No? Why do you say “no”? “Because”… and here is where you would list all those things that are wrong in your life.
As you can see in both instances – the “Am I happy” question forces your brain to focus on the things that make you unhappy in life. I blame this on the fact that in order to verify whether you are happy – you are likely to think of the reasons that you shouldn’t be. You don’t have to believe in the power of The Secret to know that when you focus on something – more of that thing will turn up in your life.
Not to mention that just by thinking about why you should be unhappy – in itself, will make you unhappy – then you might believe it as truth!
In short, when I question whether or not I am happy – it gives me more stress, anxiety and doubt. That’s why I’ve started practicing a new approach, one that I think you’ll like as well.
So do you want to know how to make yourself happy? It’s simple…
Prove That You Aren’t!
Since trying to prove that I am happy always led to the opposite, I decided to flip the formula!
Instead of putting all of the pressure on happiness, why not leave it innocent until proven guilty? See when you have to prove that you are unhappy – it becomes so much harder! Your mind is forced to make a mental shift and must then concentrate on every possible reason that you should be happy.
This one little change – will immediately morph your glass from being half empty to being half full.
Happiness grows from within and so does your perception. So why not change it to one that is forced to think of the positives in your life? Why not make yourself appreciate the things in your life that others would like to have in theirs?
This new approach to questioning “Am I happy?”, now always gives me a motivating answer. Best of all, I know it’ll do the same for you!