Short Funny Quotes About Life | 15 Humorous Quotes


Short Funny Quotes About Life | 15 Humorous Quotes

Laugh it up! These short funny quotes about life are down right hilarious. They capture so much truth about the silly things we do, in such an extremely humorous way.

So why take life so seriously?.. I mean, it’s not like anyone gets out alive anyway!

Funny Life Quotes

1.

No one is listening until you fart.

2.

Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.

3.

Self-Checkout Line – The place where customers of an establishment become unpaid employees of the establishment.

Richard Turner

4.

How come, when my wife says she needs to talk, it’s never about football?

5.

Amount of time it takes for a dog to “do its business” is directly proportional to outside temperature + suitability of owner’s outerwear.

Betsy Cañas Garmon

6.

When God asks what you’ve done with your life, try not to say “Didn’t you read my tweets?”

7.

Worrying works! 99% of the things I worry about never happen.

8.

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.

Murphy’s Law

9.

People who snore always fall asleep first.

10.

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

Dave Barry

11.

Life got so much easier when I decided to become part of the problem and not part of the solution.

12.

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said ‘No, six should be enough.’

13.

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

14.

Life is like a doughnut. You’re either in the dough or in the hole.

15.

How is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?

François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

*Which one of these “Funny Quotes on Life” did you like best? Do you know of any other quality quotes that could compete for the top 15? Please share in the comments!

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